The ideas that you should ‘get away from her way when she’s planning her wedding day’, ‘women are crazy in this period’, or ‘she dreams about her wedding day since her birth, she knows what she has to do so you don’t need to bother’ are just mean stereotypical misconceptions. So, sorry to tell you guys, but you should do more than show up at your wedding pre-parties, being where you’re supposed to be when you’re supposed to be, and saying the right name (remember Ross from Friends?!). There’s nothing wrong with this scenario, if the bride agrees with it. Still, wouldn’t it be satisfying to be involved, to know what is going to happen during your special day and be there for the woman you love more than anything?
Stop believing in those romantic comedies you see on TV with crazy fiancées and start claiming more responsibilities. Read on some ideas which will get you started.
Make a list of your own guests. Maybe you share everything with your bride, and she knows all your friends and family, still you will spare her lots of time and nerves by making your own list. In this way, you’re making sure you don’t forget anyone. Get the guest list and the correct addresses of your family members or family friends from your parents and track down your old friends addresses. It’s easier for you to do it than to have your bride-to-be talking to people that are complete strangers to her.
Take care of your groomsmen. Make sure that they have been invited to the wedding party, that they know what they have to wear, that they show up for fittings, and know everything they need to know about the schedule and their responsibilities. You can ask your best man to help you organize things, but it’s still your responsibility to make sure things are done right.
Buy your partner a present. Traditionally, the groom and the bride exchange a gift the night before the wedding. Should you decide that you want to spend the night before the wedding in different places, surprise her and deliver the present to the place where she spends the night. She will most likely be delighted. Make sure that you buy her something nice and special and that it is wrapped beautifully and that you attach a heartfelt note.
Choose your outfit. For sure, you have already imagined yourself in front of the altar (yes, men do that too) watching your beautiful lover walking down the aisle in her gorgeous wedding dress. But what about you? What are you wearing? Whether you discuss your outfit with your bride or not, you should be able to decide by yourself. Small tip: try to make sure that the outfit fits the overall color scheme of the wedding.
Write the speech. It might be self-understood that you need to have a speech, but you cannot imagine how many grooms get away with only ‘I am so happy, I love you’. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as your feelings are sincere, but you must know that women are detail-oriented and your soon-to-be wife will probably spend hours trying to find the right words to express her feelings, therefore, she will most likely expect a speech as emotional and meaningful as hers.
Negotiate. If you know how to negotiate, work out the prices with your vendors and see what kind of extras can you manage to include in your package. In wedding planning, no task is less important than another. Make sure you take charge of tipping the vendors and you arrange everything in envelopes.
Track down the missing RSPV’s from your side of the guest list. The bride and the groom should have each do the follow-ups for their own half of the list. It will be easier, faster and more effective.
Take your bride’s side. You cannot imagine how much it will mean to her. It should be your responsibility to take care of your relatives. If your sisters cause issues on the bridesmaid dresses or your mother is driving the bride crazy, you should be the one to have one-on-one conversations with whoever is causing stress and problems.